Grumbling and Complaining

Philippians 2:14-18



"Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain. Even if I am to be poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrificial offering of your faith. I am glad and rejoice with you all. Likewise you also should be glad and rejoice with me."



Well, for the past four or so weeks I have been a grumbler. I usually struggle with this sin quit often but it seems like lately it has over taken me. I started having contractions several weeks ago and was dilated to 1 cm and thought that the baby was going to make an early entrance into the world. I didn't want the baby to come to early, of course, but as time ticked on I thought that it would be nice to be pregnant no longer. So, that became my idol. I thought and thought all day about how it would be nice to bend over with no pain, to clean and be able to breathe, and to discipline Caleb with no problems. I was still having contractions, tons of them, everyday and that didn't help my situation. I would stay up sometimes until 2 and 3 in the morning wondering if the baby was coming. So finally, last night I had a melt down. Tommy told me to go for a walk and then I came home and soaked in a warm bath. I prayed and cried because I knew that my sin was showing itself in such a ugly way. Throughout the past two weeks my times with the Lord have suffered because I can't concentrate; I was too busy thinking about me and what I wanted. I knew I needed Him but didn't realize how much. So anyway, after repenting and getting right with my best friend and Father, Tommy and I sat and he bathed me in the word/gospel. He reminded me of God's love for me and that through repentance I am fully restored: God is not mad at me!!!! His wrath was poured out on his beloved Son and there is none left to be poured out on me. "Thank God for his love for me and that I am righteous before Him; it is not of my own doing that I am righteous but a gift from the Lord."



So anyway, I was reading Molly Piper's blog on Saturday morning and was so blessed. Her blog is called Raising Arrows and she talks a lot about her pregnancy. She is real and shares her struggles but she is also encourages us to not grumble. She also lost a daughter last year and talks about how she is grieving with the passing of her sweet baby girl. I encouraging you all to go and read about it. While reading this, God put things in prospective for me and pointed me to my blessings! Boy, what blessings do I have!!!!!!!!!!! I could go on and on about how good he is to me! He has given me so much to be thankful for here on this earth but I don't deserve any of it. I deserve to DIE!!!! I deserve to burn in hell forever!! But, by His grace and love for me I am righteous. WOW! Just that alone should be enough for me but so many times I think that I deserve much more.

God, please forgive me of my unthankful and complaining heart and help me to be thankful!!! I want to bring glory to you and please help me to desire that always. Remind me when I am being a complainer and grumbler so that I can again bring glory to you alone. I love you and thank you for your steadfast love and your grace. Why me, Lord???? Why choose me??? Thank you!!!!